Love Yourself First

During the Summer Of Love in 1967, the Beatles presented this powerful message to the world, "All you need is love." Basically they said you can be, do and have anything when love is present in your world. You can only give away what you already have, right?

People who love themselves truly know what love is. Those individuals are able to give love to others. (Sadly there are few people who do truly and completely love themselves.)

If you think you want more love in your life simply give love away. When you discover something missing from your world, consider the absence usually reflects your being stingy about giving it away.

When you notice a shortage of love in your life, you often wind up hoarding it. How will you receive more if you are so fearful of losing what you have?

You can blame your partner, your parents, your kids, your neighbor, etc. for failing to give you enough love OR you can choose to look at yourself and accept yourself exactly as you are (all positive and self-inflicted negative aspects included).

Your self love comes from you alone. Maybe you grew up thinking you were unlovable. You can choose to continue to live in that story (being unlovable) or you can replace that story with one of being very lovable!

The way you take care of yourself reveals your degree of self love. How you treat yourself tells others how you want them to treat you.

When you love you, know you can be, do and have anything you want because you are loved. You will also feel and receive love from others who support you.

Recently a friend spent time with me while I visited each of my adult children. She later told me that she was sure her kids know she loves them AND that she does not tell them, "I love you" often enough. I raised two great kids who have always and will continue to hear those words over and over again from me.

You may well have a different definition of love from those who you love. Your loving gestures may go unnoticed-or worse, be misinterpreted as uncaring behaviors or thoughtlessness.

Speaking the words, "I love you" tells a person you love them, but make sure you also express your love in the other ways your person needs.

Nothing can stop you when you choose to be someone who does things you've never done. Discover how to stay on track so you don't derail yourself in Ali Bierman's free ebook What You Don't Know You Don't Know. Grab your free copy now at http://creatingthelife.com/ebook.html

Get Your Self A True Love

Have you ever felt yourself feeling like you were desperate to find someone to spend your time with? Well, SNAP out of it! Seriously. You shouldn't leave yourself in this kind of state. If you do, you are almost guaranteeing yourself loneliness or a bad relationship.

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO INSTEAD?

Learn how to actively attract love into your life. And not the desperate kind. I mean the good, head over heels in love kind where you and your partner both benefit from the relationship. It's out there. Many people find these kinds of relationships and so can you!

I know. There are so many divorces and broken hearts out there, but you really do not have to be one of them. Instead of wishing for the right love or the right situation, go out there and attract it yourself!

HOW CAN YOU DO THIS?

It's simple. We can attract anything into our lives if we know how to do this and if we take whatever actions are necessary. The law of attraction is always available for each and everyone of us. It doesn't matter who you are or where you have been. You deserve more to life than just wishing for something. You deserve to actually have it!

SO, WHAT IS STOPPING YOU?

Many people don't try something new simply because they fear change. Don't let fear of change hold you back. After all, change is what you want, right? You want your life to work out. And you can work it out.

Go to http://www.successfulfather.com and SIGN up for the FREE newsletter. BOOKMARK the site and return as often as possible to learn as much as you can!

Bryan Appleton is an author of self-help motivational literature as well as an entrepreneur and investor. He is a single father and has made it one of his life's goals to try and help other people live the lives they are dreaming of.

Future Love Predictions

Many people send me dreams about the person they love for translation. This is unnecessary, because these dreams are so simple that anyone can learn how to translate them and have objective information about the person they love, predicting their reactions and learning many things about the way they think and feel.

If you have psychological problems, then you need to learn the dream language in order to be able to translate any kind of dream, but if you simply want to be able to predict what will happen in a certain case, how he or she is going to react, if you fit together, if they are loyal, etc., you can simply learn how to interpret the dreams about the person you love by yourself, without studying the dream language.

This is a privilege you can have today because my method of dream translation is so advanced, after 19 years of conducting psychotherapy, study and research.

Today the vision I can give you about the meaning of your dreams is so clear, that you can immediately learn what you care about.

I advise you to deeply study the dream language and be able to translate all your dreams alone because this is going to help you in all fields of your life, but if you are not so sure that this knowledge will help you, or if you don't have the time to study and learn, you can start learning the basics by learning how to interpret dreams where the animus or anima appear.

The animus is the image of the ideal man for a woman, and the anima is the image of the perfect woman for a man.

Now, pay attention to the fact that I said "the image" and not directly "the perfect" man or woman, for each one.

An image is an idol. An idol is a false god that will transform you into a slave. What does it mean? It means that the image of the anima or the animus that you have in mind may not be the image of the person that will really make you happy. He or she is only the "type" that you like.

When we talk about an idol, we are also talking about an image that receives many characteristics given by your imagination. You admire and even adore an idol, because you believe that it has magical powers.

However, you might be very wrong...

An idol is only a false image: it doesn't represent your ideal match. It mainly represents the big danger of getting involved with the wrong person, while believing that they are the right one, because they have a few of the characteristics you like in a person of the opposite sex.

Therefore, you will see many dreams with the animus or anima, showing you that what you believe about the person you love is not true. You are misled into believing that you fit together, and that they are nice and they love you. You will in fact only suffer very much with all the deceptions you'll have with them.

On the other hand, you may see many dreams giving you warnings: you are despising your perfect match, because you cannot recognize him or her among the crowd, or because somebody else is imprisoning you in a relationship that won't bring you any happiness.

You have to pay attention to what is happening to you.

Future love predictions will be the main subject of your dreams if you are in love with someone. The unconscious mind that produces your dreams is so generous that it sends you infinite dreams about the person you most care about!

You certainly can predict the future thanks to calculations, because everything in nature has to be prepared before actually happening.

The unconscious mind calculates everything and sends you the results of its estimations.

This is how you'll be able to predict the future of your relationship or predict how his or her reaction will be on certain occasions, preparing your plans according to what will help you attain the results you desire, only by interpreting the meaning of your dreams!

Christina Sponias continued Carl Jung's research into the human psyche, discovering the cure for all mental illnesses, and simplifying the scientific method of dream interpretation that teaches you how to exactly translate the meaning of your dreams, so that you can find health, wisdom and happiness.

Learn more at: http://www.scientificdreaminterpretation.com

The Women Men Adore

Man looked to the skies seeking a woman he could adore

Only heaven could give him what he wanted and more...

Ravi Parmar, a bright young lawyer, finds himself sitting beside the charming demure Divya. She has all the qualities his parents would like in a 'bahu'. Convent-educated she paints and sings, cooks well and has green fingers that can turn any dry patch into a lush garden. She teaches in a play school but would like to give it up once she is married. What more could anyone want? Yet Ravi finds something missing, and cannot get himself to say yes.

Samir Khanna, an IIT graduate based in Mumbai, met Sonali at a friend's wedding. An attractive fashion designer, she impressed him immensely. He liked the way she carried herself, a smile here, a laugh there, talking respectfully to elders, lovingly admonishing children creating havoc, she seemed completely in command as the bride's sister. He was bowled over, and voiced his interest in getting to know her, with matrimony in mind.

In both cases, smart, well-settled bachelors meet young ladies with perfect credentials, yet one is willing to tie the knot right away, while the other finds something holding him back. Is it beauty, the so-important physical attributes, brains, or a combination of both that men seek? Over the years, the concept of beauty has been transformed .Beauty no longer implies a fair complexion, long hair and sharp features....Every young lady on the road is well-groomed, aware of her looks and alternatives available to enhance them. Blemishes disappear, contours change and the plain Jane gradually emerges as a charming belle.

Meek and submissive, pretty and docile, convent-educated, accomplished in domestic responsibilities, displaying no aggressive traits-these were qualities sought in young women on the threshold of marriage. These stereo types were considered 'safe', so that men could dominate and control; he would lead and she blindly follow. Such women would always be dependent not defiant, staid rather than strong-willed.

But times, they are a-changing. Men and women have come a long way. Their perceptions and attitudes, ideas and expectations have all changed radically. Both have definite ideas about the qualities they would look for in a companion. Men adore both beauty and brains,
love a thinking partner, who is smart and intelligent, with the ability to hold her own, pleasant and impressive, a gracious hostess, a good home-maker who pursues a career and has varied interests; with whom he can discuss problems, but who respects his view-point rather than push her own; who assuages and appeases his ego, rather than hurting it; who is sensitive to his preferences even though he might lack that sensitivity. She should be able to do things on her own, not wait for him to take her around, but at the same time not keep him in the dark about where she is going and what she is doing-as trust does not come easily to men. All these put together tug at his heart-strings.

This is the age of double-income families. The man alone is not the bread-winner, who runs the household, as in this age of retail booms and waves of consumerism, it is difficult to make ends meet. A working wife is sought so that a better standard of living is maintained-everyone wants to be part of the gang of 'haves' rather than the 'havenots'. Hence economic considerations are also responsible for the changing perceptions of men.

Many years ago, a cousin of mine who ran a successful business, got engaged to be married. He seemed happy and totally in love and I asked him what made him say yes. He replied that his fiancé looked 'presentable'! This translated into the fact that when he walked with her, her appearance and personality appealed to those who formed his circle of acquaintance. Another close friend, a corporate executive, tied the knot with a colleague. He felt proud of her intellect as she could talk on the same 'wavelength' as men on management issues, take decisions, and displayed efficiency in all that she did. That she wasn't cut out to be a homemaker didn't detract from her overall personality. Both these men adore the woman in their lives. For the former, social approval was the key issue, and in the latter, it was the fact that she could hold her own in a circle of men, she was the epitome of success in a man's world; when she spoke men would stop to listen.

Women across the spectrum have won adoration from men, be it for looks, personality, the cause they fight for , their accomplishments and talents. The glamour world favourites like Aishwarya Rai, Kareena kapoor and Preity Zinta are adored as spirited beauties. But the likes of Sushmita Sen score above them for their non-conventional beauty, warmth and sensibility in the right blend. Achievers like Anu Aga, Naina Lal Kidwai, Vinita Bali, Kiran Mazumdar Shaw, have made heads turn with their contribution to the corporate sector. Activists like Medha Patkar and Elaben Bhatt who took up social causes and fought for the rights of others have impressed no less. Arundhati Roy, Barkha Dutt, Swati Piramal....the list is endless.

A survey carried out among educated men in the 25-35 age group in Kolkata helped conclude that conventional beauty is no longer the only characteristic urban men adore. Pleasing personality and intelligence, warmth and sincerity, have as much appeal. Nearly 80% said they did not want women who fitted into the housewife mould. The housewife brand today stands for gossip, whiling away time in mindless activities, shopping, kitty-parties and their contribution to the home are not considered substantial enough. Their dependence is unnerving and cumbersome to manage, preventing men from doing what they would like to, never left alone to relax and unwind. The preference is for working women, accomplished and successful in their respective fields, with an identity of their own and economically independent too. Interestingly, the same men also want that after a few years, their accomplished, successful wives should give up their lucrative and satisfying careers to bring up children! Only a small section of men from large business families, who want women to be 'around', want housewives. But here too women must be smart enough to manage on their own .

Psychologists feel that men can never be content-- another person's wife always appeals more. Men are never able to grow out of their mother's shadow and always look for some of her qualities too, being a good home-maker being one of them. Nonetheless, today's man makes choices sensibly, after a lot of thought and consideration. But satisfaction is an entirely different matter, as the grass always seems greener on the other side. The man whose wife becomes a homemaker to care for his family, envies those who have working wives, sharing financial responsibilities, having a lot more confidence, are self assured and forceful. On the other hand, men with working wives often feel a twinge of regret that they can never return to a home where, when they walk in, everything is taken care of and they can just put their feet up and call it a day. For them it is a series of chores listed as their responsibility, payments to be made, a child's homework seen to, while the wife takes care of other things. In their case, as the wife shares the responsibility of earning, they must share her burden of housework, so here too, they need to display the same efficiency and time management skills. The home then doesn't seem very different from the office. Many yearn for a welcoming smile from a devoted wife, waiting to share problems and troubles, a nice home cooked meal and the freedom to just sit in front of the idiot box, surfing channels.

The male macho heart flutters at the sight of beauty, yes. But there is now a realization that beauty may be skin deep, they must scratch and peep beneath the surface, for it is the beauty within that counts. Men tend to move away from frivolous, foolish and immature young ladies. They prefer those who can command respect with their actions, think and feel for others, believe in a cause and have the guts to fight for it, shed tears while sharing another's pain, but not cry on his shoulder all the time, be with him , seek his company , but not tie him down. Men want women to understand them completely, fathom each wish and desire of theirs without their having to spell it out. The world is not without women who fit into this mould, and blessed are those women who are truly adored.

How Do Men Act When They Are in Love?

How do men act when they are in love is a question that almost every woman has wondered about at some point in time. Not all men scream from the rooftops when they are in love. The women in a man's life may have to second guess exactly what he's feeling simply because he's not open and honest about it. There are a few clues in his behavior that indicate that he's feeling emotionally connected to you. If you notice these when you are with him, it's safe to say he's falling for you.

One answer to the question of how do men act when they are in love can be found in how often he contacts the woman he's involved with. When a man is crazy about a woman he wants to talk with her and he really wants to be with her. If you're dating a guy and he's constantly asking when he can call you or when you two can go out, he's hooked. Unfortunately if the man you are involved with is constantly coming up with excuses for why he can't talk or be with you, he's not that invested emotionally in the relationship yet.

When a man is in love with a woman he wants to know everything there is to know about her. You can usually tell how interested a man is in you by the questions he asks you. If he asks you for details about your life he's falling for you. If a man is more interested in a casual dating relationship than a deep one he'll ask the general questions about how you're doing and if there's anything new in your life. If he goes into more detail and wants to know your favorite flower, color or the book you most liked as a child, he's feeling closer to you. This is a great way to gauge how a man feels about you.

Don't discount his body language when he's around you if you are trying to figure out where he is emotionally in the relationship. Men who are in love show it by their actions. They'll reach out to hold your hand, they'll put their hand on your back and they'll hold eye contact for longer than a few seconds at a time. If a man is doing these things, he's very interested in you.

Specific things you say and do can make a man feel helplessly drawn to you. If you are convinced he is the one there are things you can do to ensure he only has eyes for you. For more insightful tips about understanding men including a way to get him to fall deeply in love with you, visit this Informative Site!

You don't have to leave love to fate or chance. If you are tired of waiting for him to fall hopelessly in love, there are things you can do to make it happen now. Find out right now what you need to do to capture his heart forever.

Dating Tips For the 50s and Above

Your partner passed away of a heart attack few years back. In a way, you were glad that it was a one-time episode for he died instantly. You were not made into a nurse maid to care for an irritable hopeless invalid. Its kinda sound horrible for others to hear but you're more glad of the insurance proceeds which financed a small boutique that allowed you to be active and busy. You're 52 but your proud of it, you don't look nor feel like it. Your read about dating tips for your own age and category and not too shy to talk to friends about it.

It doesn't take very long for you to get invited in local clubs and business groups. There you meet available men and available bachelors of all ages. If ladies are hesitant to go through the dating game, the male gender is also daunted. They feel like Fred Flinstone being brought to the space age by the time machine. These Boomers are unsure how to go back to the game for the first time. Do you only kiss on the first date? How about protection, are there new and lethal sexually transmitted diseases? How about if they just go on-line dating to spare them the embarrassment of first time personal encounters? First of all, there are men who prefer older women because they are authoritative yet less demanding, mature and have the experience.

They are understanding and easy to talk with. They have a broad view of any topic. In short they are more comfortable to be with than women in their 30s or younger. Once the Boomers have started to immerse themselves into the dating game, their confidence will be slowly built-up. They feel they are attractive by the interests that they gain from the opposite sex and the respect they get from their colleagues. Some advice for the Boomers how to get that confidence and go on dates: 1.Take care of your health- a healthy and active person exudes charm that he is capable of taking care of a relationship and the future.

Go on a regular exercise routine like jogging, walking, swimming or going to the gym. Exercise wards off high blood pressure, diabetes and other illnesses. It makes the bones strong, the muscles firm and the skin healthy. Take nutritious food vitamins to give you the extra boost. A healthy person is capable or great sex and that is what this is all about. 2. Repackage yourself. Try new trends in the way you clothe yourself. The checkered shirts may be your signature in the way you dress but it may be only be appreciated by chess-playing ladies. Go to a hairdresser to get the right color and cut for your hair.

The way of dressing and haircut can take years off. 3. Develop your potential. Although middle aged, a person can live his life again by improving his knowledge and developing his potentials. Cultivate your mind, body and spirit. If before you were restricted to some activities to finance the education of the children and the home mortgage, now that you are free, indulge in pursuits that you truly love. Happiness is when you are free and enjoy what you do. 4. Plan. You should have an agenda and a time-table. See to it that your activities and up to your objective.

Schedule your meetings, your trips, your on-line chats so that you can have a pool of choices for your dates. 5. Seek. Don't be ashamed to tell people that you are seeking for a relationship. Your friends and their connections can be made to advertise your needs. Go on line. Connecting with single people is just on the tip of your fingers. It's fast, accessible and easy.6. Have faith in the universe that you will meet the man you deserve. It's never too late to meet your prince.

The author of this article Ruth

Valentine's Day: A Funny Valentine Poem

This rhyming Valentine's Day poem, "Since My Valentine Got A Computer," takes a light-hearted look at Internet addiction.

Since My Valentine Got A Computer

Since my Valentine got a computer,
My love life has taken a hit.
Nothing I say is important,
Unless it’s a byte or a bit.

Before she got her new laptop,
Everything was just fine;
Now she says we can’t talk
Unless we both go online.

"But honey," I said, "I’m attached to you;
Love is what I feel."
"That keyword isn’t relevant,"
She said, with eyes of steel.

She clicked the keyboard furiously;
The screen was all she could see,
And then to my horror and shame,
She started describing me:

"Your motherboard needs upgrading;
Your OS needs help, too.
And you definitely need a big heatsink
To cool your CPU."

"Don’t flame me, my sweet," I pleaded.
"Not on Valentine’s Day."
"Fix the bugs, and I’ll see," she said,
While looking at me with dismay.

"What ever you want, my darling;
Whatever you need; you call it.
I’ll upload or download anything,
And then I’ll go install it."

(Her hostile CD keeps replaying,
And though I don’t want to fight her,
Is this what I want for a Valentine?
I’ve been burned; can I rewrite her?)

"Are you all hard drive now," I asked;
"Is there no software in you?
Don’t you remember the good times?
Let our memories see us through."

"LOL," she said to me, chuckling.
"You’re nothing but adware.
I’ve got a gig of memory;
I’ve got no problem there."

"Please, honey, we can save it," I said.
"Our love means more than that."
"That’s not in my cache; we’re going to crash,"
She said, as she turned me down flat.

(This woman has really changed;
Do I really want to chase her?
More and more I’m thinking
It might be nice to erase her.)

"Aw, honey, don’t talk like that," I said.
"Can’t we just plug and play?
I hereby accept default,
And I’m yours, my love, come what may.

"My goal is to make you happy;
I want to be your portal,
But your sudden, distant coldness
Would test the strongest mortal.

"If we need a brand new interface,
So we can FTP,
I’m your go along, get along guy,
And I want you to stay with me."

"If you want to get into my favorites," she said,
And you want to get past my encryption,
If you want to get through my firewall,
Here is my only prescription.

"First, put up your own Web site,
And e-mail me when it’s done.
I’ll check your page rank with Google,
And tell you if you’re the one."

My life has become quite a trial,
Since my Valentine got a computer.
If I want her to care about me again,
I guess I’ll have to reboot her.

Falling in Love Is Not for Cowards

You've been dating several weeks, and you have a feeling he might be the one. He calls when he says he'll call. He shows up when he says he'll show up. Your friends like him, and he's nice to your cat. He's doing everything right, and you're pretty sure he's everything you ever wanted in a man.

But you're not sleeping well. Your hands shake when you pour a cup of coffee. You're distracted at work. And people keep asking you, "How's it going with the new romance? When's the wedding?"

You're freaking out.

What's wrong with you?

Well, nothing, really. You've reached the point in a new relationship where everything seems to be going well, but part of you is terrified that suddenly it'll end: He'll stop calling. He'll meet somebody else. You'll discover his dresser drawers are crammed with women's underwear.

And your fears are right and natural. Every time he does something right, you fall for him a little more. You're scared because you've only just met him, you don't really know him, and he holds your heart in his hands! Your mind races with questions: If he's so great, why isn't he married? Why didn't his last relationship last? And so on.

You find yourself fighting the urge to call his parents and closest friends for character references.

Let's face it. Falling in love is not for cowards. It takes strength, confidence, and poise. It becomes tempting to dissect every gesture, every snippet of dialogue with a well-meaning friend who is only too happy to advise you on your new relationship.

But don't do it.

Think of your new relationship as a seed you've planted in the ground. The seed needs time to germinate and break through the soil, but every time you discuss your relationship with a third party, you dig it up. The relationship is no longer a potentially sacred thing between two people but the subject of speculation for many others. You've robbed it of its specialness and mystery.

Avoid the temptation to ask a friend, "What do you think he meant when he said...?" Ask him instead. If he does something that bothers you, tell him. Keep the relationship between you.

Adopt a "we'll see what happens" attitude. It takes courage, definitely, but it's worth it. Give your burgeoning relationship the sun and water it deserves. Only you can decide whether a man is right for you.

Please trust yourself to do that.

Ending Relationships - Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Should you stay with your partner or leave them? Is all the pain you suffer in your relationship worth it for the good times you have together? Will it really be worth all the pain of leaving them or is it better to stay and stick it out?

In most relationships there comes a point when you have to decide whether your partner really has the qualities you need to stay together. Making the decision to stay or go is almost always a very painful and confusing time as there generally isn’t a quick fix or an easy answer to your questions.

I have a friend in a fantastic relationship who taught me that if it’s hard work it’s probably not working. This was an alien concept to me. I come from a therapeutic background which can sometimes promote the feeling that if it’s not hard work it’s not worthwhile. Years ago I made it my mission to figure out what made relationships work; there seem to be two approaches – one more successful than the other!

Two Approaches to Relationships

The first is ‘don’t expect too much from your relationship and it will work out just fine!’ Some things are always going to be problematic. So what if sex isn’t so important to one of you? So what if one party can’t be relied upon to keep their agreements? So what if you never get to go on the holidays you really want to go on because your partner hates to travel? This may well work for some but it’s just not in my nature. As far as I’m concerned, good enough just isn’t!

The second approach is to insist on great chemistry; to find a partner who isn’t perfect, but is perfect for you. The two primary areas you need to match up in are sexual chemistry and best friend chemistry. You’d think these two would be obvious to most people, but you’d be wrong. People make compromises on these points very early on and then wonder why they spend the rest of their lives hurting.

Great chemistry doesn’t mean it’ll be easy all the time - that would be unnatural. It means that you’re excited and committed enough to work through the glitches as they arise rather than let them stack up. A stack of resentments is so much easier to set fire to.

Working Out Whether to Leave

So the biggest piece of work I have clients do when they ask me to help them decide to stay or go is to get them to design their perfect partner. You may think this strange if you’re already in a relationship - but it’s just as valid now as it is when you’re single. So, what would be perfect for you?

The things you should focus on as you’re already in a relationship should be more emotional and behavioural in quality. Once you’ve sorted out what is perfect for you, you can start to ask yourself questions about your current partner to see if they meet up to your ideal. Does your loved one treat you with the level of respect you expect? Is he affectionate enough for you? Does she make enough time for you? These aren’t necessarily questions that apply to you. Ask yourself the questions that matter to you once you’ve worked out what ideal is for you.

A couple more questions you may want to ponder - If twenty years from now your partner hadn’t changed in any significant way, would you still be happy as their partner? Would you consider your life together to have been more about adventure or more about endurance?

The strange thing is we often know what the problems will be in a relationship many years in advance. The only question is, when will you handle them? We all know the longer you leave them the more painful it gets.

Work out now whether you should stay with your partner or leave them – get a free, 9 page ‘Should I Stay or Should I Go?’ report.

How I Got Rid Of Jealousy

I am ashamed to admit this but I used to have the green-eyed monster tailing me wherever I went. It was my shadow and my other half.

Of course jealousy justified its presence and suspicions. It was there to protect me. Jealousy kept telling me what I should be doing and feeling. It even told me what my partner was up to and how he should be behaving and feeling toward me.

Did I believe jealousy? You bet I did. That went on for years until I learnt a few painful lessons and decided that it should go and leave me alone for good. That happened too late though.

My suspicions when jealousy set in cost me broken relationships, distress and a deep plunge in my self-esteem and worthiness.

Having gone through what I did, I have a few points here to assist you from allowing jealousy to ruin your life.

The first thing to do is to simply make a decision to get rid of that feeling. That means telling yourself that you have had it with the attitude of being suspicious, distrusting and possessive.

Next start saying different things to yourself. Jealousy is going to remind you that if you focus on other things, your partner may abandon you. Tell it firmly that you are in control and you want to choose your own thoughts.

Have respect for yourself. If your partner abandons you, put your hurt behind and start life over. If he actually cheats on you, he is not worth your time and effort. Your life will continue to evolve no matter what happens, if you decide to make it so.

Learn how to trust and expect good things to happen. One of the reasons why we suffer is because we unconsciously expect bad things to happen. Develop faith and confidence in your relationships. It promotes better understanding, avoids stress and gives you a peace of mind.

Learn how to communicate effectively. One great tip, don’t nag. Here’s another, don’t bring out old issues and mistakes. Both irritate and put a stop for further constructive conversations.

Learn to listen without interrupting, judging and probing. Allow him to talk and finish his sentences. If you must ask, do it with the intent to seek understanding. He can tell from your words, gestures and body language if you are sincere.

Now the last but most important thing is to learn to love everyone including yourself unconditionally. No strings, no bargains and no threats.

Do You Know What Romance Is?

Romance is the spice of life. It's not difficult to visualize how dull and boring life would be without romance. Have you ever paused to wonder what it is that brings enthusiasm in life? Romance is that elixir that makes you vibrant, vivacious and full of vitality. Everyone has their own idea of romance and romantic ideas, what are your ideas of romance?

In the lines, by Shirley Bassey "I'd like to run away from you, but if you didn't come, and find me ... I would die." the essence of love and romance has been beautifully depicted. Romance is something that gives comforting touch to one's heart. Someone who's sensitive about his or her beloved's need, is romantic. Just being a hard-core romantic and not demonstrating your love openly is so unromantic. You need to put other work aside and show to your sweet heart that you care for him or her. The idea of romance can be as simple as a peck on a cheek, a warm hug or just uttering those three miraculous words "I love you." These gestures appear romantic when your beloved is least expecting them, otherwise they are the boring hackneyed way of saying that you care. Novel romantic ideas are like, "life and blood" of any romantic relationship.

For some people romance means the spirit of adventure, a sense of anticipation of the unexpected, a view of exciting spectacles at every bend of the road. For many others romance involves the mysterious and the unknown. Like 'magic casements opening on the foam of perilous seas,' as Keats would put it. Romance sweeps in all the treasured experiences from the mysterious to the magical and the miraculous. Yet for most of us romance is an expression of love. When we talk of romantic ideas we refer to all the little things that can keep the flame of love burning bright in our hearts.

We all know that it isn't enough to love a person; it is equally important to express our love in a relationship. Love without expression is as good as not there. You need to show your love, not only in words but also in gestures that speak louder than words. You have to devise novel ways of letting your love know how much you care. You have to find new ideas to express your love every day, if not every moment. Thinking of novel ways of saying 'I love you' is what romantic ideas are all about.

Everyone is not a poet, yet everyone needs to kindle the flame of love lest it fades away. This site on romantic ideas is a treasure house of fresh romantic ideas. The charm of an idea lies in its freshness, and nothing goes stale faster than ideas. So, look for absolutely novel romantic ideas to let the warm Love in!

National Hugging Day ... Reach Out and Touch Someone

As you button up your shirt, you ask, “So, what’s your diagnosis, doc?”

He pauses and then replies, “It appears you’re suffering from touch deprivation.”

Somewhat taken aback, you sputter, “Is there a special treatment for that?”

Smiling, the doctor answers, “Yes … lots and lots of hugs.”

You heard the doctor. It’s time to reach out and touch someone. No excuses now. Today, January 21 is National Hugging Day!

This warm and fuzzy holiday was created twenty years ago by Rev. Kevin Zaborney, of Caro, Michigan. One thing for certain, the man definitely chose the right time of year for this holiday. Who wouldn’t want to cosy up to someone during this cold, blustery month? Now although not officially a “national” holiday, many embrace it all the same … with the other person’s permission of course.

The word “hug” has many definitions and is believed to have originated in Scandinavia, akin to Old Norse “hugga,” meaning to comfort. Other definitions include an affectionate embrace or to clasp or hold closely. Whatever the definition, hugging is a gesture of love, of warmth, of caring … benefiting people both physiologically and psychologically.

Did you know that hugging increases the body’s endorphins (morphine-like substances in our blood and nervous systems), relieving us from pain and creating a mild euphoria? Medical facilities and treatment centres across the globe are realizing its true healing value, and now use hug and touch therapy for the treatment of pain, depression and fear in their patients. One could almost say that hugs are natural painkillers.

Unfortunately, some researchers on the subject of hugging have revealed less favourable findings. For example, some studies show that children deprived of hugs during their infancy risk growing up incapable of loving others, suggesting that a child raised without any hugging can become a psychopath or sociopath.

Virginia Satir (1916-1988), noted psychotherapist and family therapist, offered the best prescription when she advised, “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”

Many of us underestimate the value of hugging—the power of touch. Its effects are immediate, both the hugged and the hugger profit from the experience. And what is especially nice about hugging is that it’s not limited to only the hurting and the lonely … hugging is for everyone!

Top Ten Benefits of Hugging
1. Costs nothing
2. Boosts your immune system
3. Builds self-esteem
4. Fosters self-acceptance
5. Alleviates tension
6. Helps curb appetite
7. Saves heat
8. Is portable
9. Requires no special setting or equipment
10. Feels incredibly good!

Wow, talk about benefits! Who wouldn’t want to celebrate National Hugging Day! Come to think of it, why keep it to one day? Why not make every day a hug somebody day! Reach out and touch someone today … with their permission of course!

Fueling the Fires of Passion

What do you do when your marriage becomes routine? For many of us, the everyday routine of work, childcare, and bill paying extends to our lovemaking with our spouses. But, no matter how long you’ve been married, there are plenty of ways to spice up your love life. Let’s start in the bedroom – the hub of hubba hubba!

Gentlemen, start your engines

• Decorate your bedroom with pictures of yourself and your partner. Choose pictures that bring back happy memories of times you had as a couple. For instance, your wedding, a special date, or a vacation. Avoid hanging pictures of relatives: family pictures belong in the family room. It’s a real turn-off to see your grandparents and in-laws scowling at you while you’re naked and ready for romance.

• Speaking of mood: mood lighting can work wonders for a bland bedroom. Soft lighting helps to warm the atmosphere and it makes people look sexier too. You want to be able to see what you’re doing, without blinding your partner or having to grope around clumsily in the dark. Install a dimmer switch for a bedside lamp. Some people like to buy black lights (UV light bulbs available at Lowe's or Home Depot) because the bulbs create the appearance of a sexy tan on your bodies.

• Roses, orchids and other scented flowers can fill your room with romance. Scented candles-especially lavender and pumpkin-are a type of aromatherapy that many people find arousing.

• Lock you door! If you don’t have a lock, get one. It’s almost impossible to lose yourself in the moment if you’re worried that you will be found out any minute by an intruding child.

Ladies, start his engine

Now that the bedroom is ready for action, it’s time to use it! Ladies, sometimes it’s best to take charge and turn him on for a change. Why should he have to instigate everything? Here are a few tips to get his motor running.

• Make the first move and continue to direct the action. Men get tired of having to call the plays all the time. Having a woman take charge will be something out of a fantasy for him.

• Arrange a night out, but keep your plans a secret. What could make your man feel more special than to have his loved one plan and pay for an intimate evening together?

Another way to show your partner that he is desired is to play up the little things.

• Leave little love notes in his lunch box and on his pillow. His coworkers might give him some grief at first. But, every other man will be wishing his wife left notes for him.

• Demonstrate a bit more affection in public. No need to embarrass him or make him feel uncomfortable. But mini massages, kisses on the cheek and toying with his hair are ways to let him feel that he is desired. Let the world know you’re in love. Let the world - and your man – know that you just can’t keep your hands off him. That’s a real ego boost for a man. He’ll appreciate it and feel flattered.

• Dress up once in a while. Toss off the flannel and turn up the glamour. Strut your stuff and remind him how beautiful you really are. When you were dating, you dressed to impress and to attract. Dress tonight like you dressed when you were dating

Every couple has their own ways of showing affection. Also, every couple needs to be comfortable with new ways of demonstrating romantic gestures. So, try some of these suggestions. See which ones work best for you-and for him. Doing the things you did when you wanted to get married might just be the things that help you stay married. Turn back the romance clock, and turn on the fun.

Winning Online Profile And Attract A Date

Online Dating: 13 Tips To Write A Winning Online Profile And Attract A Date
by: Alison Edwards

How long do you spend getting ready for a night out? At a guess I would say that if you’re a woman you can probably spend 1 hour upwards preening and titivating and if you’re a man you can be showered, shaved and out of the door within 20 minutes (unless, of course, you’re a metro-sexual in which case you probably take longer than a woman!).

Now let me ask you how long you would spend (or have spent) writing a profile for an online dating site? Less than 5 minutes, possibly 10 minutes maximum?

When you consider that you literally have minutes to impress someone and stand out from the rest in the online dating scene, don’t you agree that more time and effort should be put into writing an online profile?

If you are an online dater, I’m sure you will agree with me that when you are searching for a partner online you will first of all look at the profiles with photos and, secondly, you will look at the profiles where people have taken the time to write something about themselves. So if you have no photo and/or an incomplete and uninformative profile, don’t be surprised if you inbox isn’t full to the brim with messages!

I’m going to share a few tips with you to get you started writing an eye-catching profile. Once you’ve read them take some time to think about what you are going to write and jot down some quick notes before hitting the keyboard.

1. Grab a friend

If you don’t like writing about yourself or think you are going to get writer’s block it’s a good idea to enlist the help of a friend; the kind of friend who is always saying to you “I can’t understand why you’re still single, you’re such a catch”. Ask your friend what your star qualities are and he or she will come up with a million and one positive things about you which you would have never thought of or dared to say about yourself.

2. Strike a pose

The most effective way to get noticed online, is to include a photo. Choose a clear photo that shows in your best light and preferably smiling - it makes much better viewing!

3. Choose a fun username

This is the name which you will be known as by members on the dating site. I would advise you to use a name other than your real name to remain anonymous. Try and choose a name that is fun and reflects your personality, i.e. Sporty Sam or Disco Queen. Do not use a name which is sexually provocative or offensive.

4. Captivate your audience

Make your profile really stand out so that any person reading it will think “Wow, I have to get to know this person!”

Online dating sites have made it easy for you when completing your profile by providing drop down menus for basic questions such as your appearance, lifestyle, hobbies but you will also be given additional space to write something yourself. Use this space wisely to provide a more detailed description about your personality, your interests and what you are looking for. The key is to be confident and talk positively about yourself without coming across bigheaded.

5. Don’t leave an empty space

If you feel you have covered everything by answering the profile questions – please do not leave the additional space blank or write “ask me”, “tell you later” or “I don’t know what to say”. Members will see your profile and think you’re either not serious about dating or that if you can’t be bothered to put some effort into writing a profile you will have the same approach in a relationship – effortless! Instead extend on the information already provided, for example, if you have stated you like travelling talk about some of the places you have visited.

6. Ask questions

If there is a particular place you visited and fell in love with, ask anyone who has been there to get in touch with you so you can reminisce together. Asking a question in your profile makes it easy for other members to respond to.

7. Be Honest

Don’t lie about interests; you will get found out! For example, don’t say you love long walks in the countryside if you really like to dance the night away in nightclubs every weekend. You’ll attract the wrong person and waste both of your time.

As with any other kind of dating, it is always best to be honest from the start so answer all questions honestly and finding your perfect match will be much easier!

8. Show your funny side

I think if you can make someone laugh or someone makes you laugh, you’re on the path to a good relationship. Show people that you have a sense of humour, e.g. talk about a scene from one of your all time favourite comedies and you may strike a chord with someone else who found the same thing just as funny as you.

9. Dream a little

Write about your dreams and ambitions. If your dream is to travel the world but you haven’t quite got round to it there may be someone out there who would like to share this experience with you. If you’ve been lucky enough to fulfil your dreams, share your story with other members.

10. Don’t mention the ex!

Ok, so you may have just come out of a relationship and be feeling sad and lonely but don’t write about it. It will put a lot of people off and you may come across desperate, which is not an attractive trait. Make online dating a new start for you and promise yourself not to dwell on past relationships.

11. Your expectations

What are your expectations from joining an online dating site? Tell people the kind of relationship you are hoping to find but don’t say you are looking for marriage if you are really looking for a casual fling and vice versa. Again, you will waste both of your time.

12. Write a chapter, not a book

By this I mean, don’t tell your whole life story in your profile. I encourage you to provide as much information as possible about yourself but use short bursts of information, sectioned by paragraphs, rather than writing a long essay so whoever is reading it is intrigued to find out more about you.

13. Be safe

Finally, do not include any personal information in your profile, e.g. your e-mail address, home address, work address or telephone number. A reputable dating site will remove any personal information before it appears live on site; this is to ensure that they provide you with a safe online dating environment.

Once you’ve completed your profile, read through it or ask a trusted friend to read through it and ask, would you reply to this person? If yes, it’s all systems go. If no, look at the areas where it can be improved until you’ve created that winning profile. It may take longer than 5 or 10 minutes but the results that will show in your inbox will be worth it!

Valentine's Day, Fairytales and Finding Your Soul Mate

Is it really any wonder that we're in so much trouble as a society when it comes to marriage and relationships when you look around at the various media portrayals of what an ideal, healthy relationship might look like. Let's start with a popular ballad about the expectations you might have of your soul mate:

"I don't care who you are, where you're from
Or what you did, as long as you love me."

What a beauty! Talk about co-dependent low self-esteem as the end goal.

Then there's the big line from the movie Jerry McGuire:

"You complete me."

What is that? Are we really walking around as pieces of a soul mate jigsaw puzzle, waiting to find our missing piece in the form of another person or be doomed to a life with our incomplete self? I don't think so.

Now before I go any further, the point here is not to destroy your enjoyment of popular songs (that I can admit to humming along with) or movies (that I actually enjoyed). Rather, I want you to put them into some much needed perspective.

They're fictional, these stories didn't happen, they're not true. And it's a good thing too!

Go back to the song's lyrics for a moment and read them again and imagine what that relationship might look like. And this time don't sing the lyrics, just read them as a statement.

I love this exercise, because when you take the message out of the context it was presented to you, well, it's not quite so romantic is it?

Unfortunately, as a society we're taking this form of subconscious relationship advice in by the truckload. We don't examine the actual message because we're too swept up in the emotions they trigger. And what's the end result? We have a society where the popular belief is that fairytales can come true.

I'm sorry, but the fact that it is theoretically possible for a street prostitute to end up with a handsome billionaire as in Pretty Woman, is not a good reason to wait around for your own knight in shining armor to come riding into town on a white horse. Likewise, it's very doubtful that a delightful, princess of a woman is going to magically see through your outwardly destructive behavior, to the man for all seasons that lies within.

And then there's the doozie that we've all fallen for in one relationship or another, that "love" will conquer all. The Beatles lied when they told us "All You Need is Love", because they left out all of the other components that you need in order to find, and keep your true soul mate.

You're going to need to be very, very clear on exactly the type of person you want in your life, the kind of values they would have (as well as clearly knowing your own values).

You'll need to have a healthy and developed sense of respect, for yourself first, and then for the person you're inviting into your life.

You'll need to master the art of direct, truthful and sincere communication and be prepared to hold yourself accountable for using it.

You'll also need trust. Trust in you, and trust in your partner with a clear understanding of your mutual agreements and the consequences for breaking them.

And of course you'll need to learn the techniques necessary to apply all of these components with your partner.

We claim to all want rich, loving relationships, yet it's been my experience that people are mostly treating their relationship like it were a game of chance. Think of it like this; finding your true soul mate and creating your ideal relationship is the equivalent of playing a round of golf with someone and each of you shooting par on every hole ... does it make sense to try to do this without taking lessons or instruction from someone who has played to that level before?

Of course not.

You don't get lucky or unlucky in love. You either get the necessary knowledge, and through its application create what might look like "luck" to an outsider, or you continue to enter into relationships hoping that the next one will be "the one" or that the one you're in currently will spontaneously evolve into the relationship of your dreams.

Your soul mate is out there, you just need to decide how important it is that you find them.