Sunday, January 29, 2006

Valentine's Day: A Funny Valentine Poem

This rhyming Valentine's Day poem, "Since My Valentine Got A Computer," takes a light-hearted look at Internet addiction.

Since My Valentine Got A Computer

Since my Valentine got a computer,
My love life has taken a hit.
Nothing I say is important,
Unless it’s a byte or a bit.

Before she got her new laptop,
Everything was just fine;
Now she says we can’t talk
Unless we both go online.

"But honey," I said, "I’m attached to you;
Love is what I feel."
"That keyword isn’t relevant,"
She said, with eyes of steel.

She clicked the keyboard furiously;
The screen was all she could see,
And then to my horror and shame,
She started describing me:

"Your motherboard needs upgrading;
Your OS needs help, too.
And you definitely need a big heatsink
To cool your CPU."

"Don’t flame me, my sweet," I pleaded.
"Not on Valentine’s Day."
"Fix the bugs, and I’ll see," she said,
While looking at me with dismay.

"What ever you want, my darling;
Whatever you need; you call it.
I’ll upload or download anything,
And then I’ll go install it."

(Her hostile CD keeps replaying,
And though I don’t want to fight her,
Is this what I want for a Valentine?
I’ve been burned; can I rewrite her?)

"Are you all hard drive now," I asked;
"Is there no software in you?
Don’t you remember the good times?
Let our memories see us through."

"LOL," she said to me, chuckling.
"You’re nothing but adware.
I’ve got a gig of memory;
I’ve got no problem there."

"Please, honey, we can save it," I said.
"Our love means more than that."
"That’s not in my cache; we’re going to crash,"
She said, as she turned me down flat.

(This woman has really changed;
Do I really want to chase her?
More and more I’m thinking
It might be nice to erase her.)

"Aw, honey, don’t talk like that," I said.
"Can’t we just plug and play?
I hereby accept default,
And I’m yours, my love, come what may.

"My goal is to make you happy;
I want to be your portal,
But your sudden, distant coldness
Would test the strongest mortal.

"If we need a brand new interface,
So we can FTP,
I’m your go along, get along guy,
And I want you to stay with me."

"If you want to get into my favorites," she said,
And you want to get past my encryption,
If you want to get through my firewall,
Here is my only prescription.

"First, put up your own Web site,
And e-mail me when it’s done.
I’ll check your page rank with Google,
And tell you if you’re the one."

My life has become quite a trial,
Since my Valentine got a computer.
If I want her to care about me again,
I guess I’ll have to reboot her.

Falling in Love Is Not for Cowards

You've been dating several weeks, and you have a feeling he might be the one. He calls when he says he'll call. He shows up when he says he'll show up. Your friends like him, and he's nice to your cat. He's doing everything right, and you're pretty sure he's everything you ever wanted in a man.

But you're not sleeping well. Your hands shake when you pour a cup of coffee. You're distracted at work. And people keep asking you, "How's it going with the new romance? When's the wedding?"

You're freaking out.

What's wrong with you?

Well, nothing, really. You've reached the point in a new relationship where everything seems to be going well, but part of you is terrified that suddenly it'll end: He'll stop calling. He'll meet somebody else. You'll discover his dresser drawers are crammed with women's underwear.

And your fears are right and natural. Every time he does something right, you fall for him a little more. You're scared because you've only just met him, you don't really know him, and he holds your heart in his hands! Your mind races with questions: If he's so great, why isn't he married? Why didn't his last relationship last? And so on.

You find yourself fighting the urge to call his parents and closest friends for character references.

Let's face it. Falling in love is not for cowards. It takes strength, confidence, and poise. It becomes tempting to dissect every gesture, every snippet of dialogue with a well-meaning friend who is only too happy to advise you on your new relationship.

But don't do it.

Think of your new relationship as a seed you've planted in the ground. The seed needs time to germinate and break through the soil, but every time you discuss your relationship with a third party, you dig it up. The relationship is no longer a potentially sacred thing between two people but the subject of speculation for many others. You've robbed it of its specialness and mystery.

Avoid the temptation to ask a friend, "What do you think he meant when he said...?" Ask him instead. If he does something that bothers you, tell him. Keep the relationship between you.

Adopt a "we'll see what happens" attitude. It takes courage, definitely, but it's worth it. Give your burgeoning relationship the sun and water it deserves. Only you can decide whether a man is right for you.

Please trust yourself to do that.

Ending Relationships - Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Should you stay with your partner or leave them? Is all the pain you suffer in your relationship worth it for the good times you have together? Will it really be worth all the pain of leaving them or is it better to stay and stick it out?

In most relationships there comes a point when you have to decide whether your partner really has the qualities you need to stay together. Making the decision to stay or go is almost always a very painful and confusing time as there generally isn’t a quick fix or an easy answer to your questions.

I have a friend in a fantastic relationship who taught me that if it’s hard work it’s probably not working. This was an alien concept to me. I come from a therapeutic background which can sometimes promote the feeling that if it’s not hard work it’s not worthwhile. Years ago I made it my mission to figure out what made relationships work; there seem to be two approaches – one more successful than the other!

Two Approaches to Relationships

The first is ‘don’t expect too much from your relationship and it will work out just fine!’ Some things are always going to be problematic. So what if sex isn’t so important to one of you? So what if one party can’t be relied upon to keep their agreements? So what if you never get to go on the holidays you really want to go on because your partner hates to travel? This may well work for some but it’s just not in my nature. As far as I’m concerned, good enough just isn’t!

The second approach is to insist on great chemistry; to find a partner who isn’t perfect, but is perfect for you. The two primary areas you need to match up in are sexual chemistry and best friend chemistry. You’d think these two would be obvious to most people, but you’d be wrong. People make compromises on these points very early on and then wonder why they spend the rest of their lives hurting.

Great chemistry doesn’t mean it’ll be easy all the time - that would be unnatural. It means that you’re excited and committed enough to work through the glitches as they arise rather than let them stack up. A stack of resentments is so much easier to set fire to.

Working Out Whether to Leave

So the biggest piece of work I have clients do when they ask me to help them decide to stay or go is to get them to design their perfect partner. You may think this strange if you’re already in a relationship - but it’s just as valid now as it is when you’re single. So, what would be perfect for you?

The things you should focus on as you’re already in a relationship should be more emotional and behavioural in quality. Once you’ve sorted out what is perfect for you, you can start to ask yourself questions about your current partner to see if they meet up to your ideal. Does your loved one treat you with the level of respect you expect? Is he affectionate enough for you? Does she make enough time for you? These aren’t necessarily questions that apply to you. Ask yourself the questions that matter to you once you’ve worked out what ideal is for you.

A couple more questions you may want to ponder - If twenty years from now your partner hadn’t changed in any significant way, would you still be happy as their partner? Would you consider your life together to have been more about adventure or more about endurance?

The strange thing is we often know what the problems will be in a relationship many years in advance. The only question is, when will you handle them? We all know the longer you leave them the more painful it gets.

Work out now whether you should stay with your partner or leave them – get a free, 9 page ‘Should I Stay or Should I Go?’ report.

How I Got Rid Of Jealousy

I am ashamed to admit this but I used to have the green-eyed monster tailing me wherever I went. It was my shadow and my other half.

Of course jealousy justified its presence and suspicions. It was there to protect me. Jealousy kept telling me what I should be doing and feeling. It even told me what my partner was up to and how he should be behaving and feeling toward me.

Did I believe jealousy? You bet I did. That went on for years until I learnt a few painful lessons and decided that it should go and leave me alone for good. That happened too late though.

My suspicions when jealousy set in cost me broken relationships, distress and a deep plunge in my self-esteem and worthiness.

Having gone through what I did, I have a few points here to assist you from allowing jealousy to ruin your life.

The first thing to do is to simply make a decision to get rid of that feeling. That means telling yourself that you have had it with the attitude of being suspicious, distrusting and possessive.

Next start saying different things to yourself. Jealousy is going to remind you that if you focus on other things, your partner may abandon you. Tell it firmly that you are in control and you want to choose your own thoughts.

Have respect for yourself. If your partner abandons you, put your hurt behind and start life over. If he actually cheats on you, he is not worth your time and effort. Your life will continue to evolve no matter what happens, if you decide to make it so.

Learn how to trust and expect good things to happen. One of the reasons why we suffer is because we unconsciously expect bad things to happen. Develop faith and confidence in your relationships. It promotes better understanding, avoids stress and gives you a peace of mind.

Learn how to communicate effectively. One great tip, don’t nag. Here’s another, don’t bring out old issues and mistakes. Both irritate and put a stop for further constructive conversations.

Learn to listen without interrupting, judging and probing. Allow him to talk and finish his sentences. If you must ask, do it with the intent to seek understanding. He can tell from your words, gestures and body language if you are sincere.

Now the last but most important thing is to learn to love everyone including yourself unconditionally. No strings, no bargains and no threats.

Do You Know What Romance Is?

Romance is the spice of life. It's not difficult to visualize how dull and boring life would be without romance. Have you ever paused to wonder what it is that brings enthusiasm in life? Romance is that elixir that makes you vibrant, vivacious and full of vitality. Everyone has their own idea of romance and romantic ideas, what are your ideas of romance?

In the lines, by Shirley Bassey "I'd like to run away from you, but if you didn't come, and find me ... I would die." the essence of love and romance has been beautifully depicted. Romance is something that gives comforting touch to one's heart. Someone who's sensitive about his or her beloved's need, is romantic. Just being a hard-core romantic and not demonstrating your love openly is so unromantic. You need to put other work aside and show to your sweet heart that you care for him or her. The idea of romance can be as simple as a peck on a cheek, a warm hug or just uttering those three miraculous words "I love you." These gestures appear romantic when your beloved is least expecting them, otherwise they are the boring hackneyed way of saying that you care. Novel romantic ideas are like, "life and blood" of any romantic relationship.

For some people romance means the spirit of adventure, a sense of anticipation of the unexpected, a view of exciting spectacles at every bend of the road. For many others romance involves the mysterious and the unknown. Like 'magic casements opening on the foam of perilous seas,' as Keats would put it. Romance sweeps in all the treasured experiences from the mysterious to the magical and the miraculous. Yet for most of us romance is an expression of love. When we talk of romantic ideas we refer to all the little things that can keep the flame of love burning bright in our hearts.

We all know that it isn't enough to love a person; it is equally important to express our love in a relationship. Love without expression is as good as not there. You need to show your love, not only in words but also in gestures that speak louder than words. You have to devise novel ways of letting your love know how much you care. You have to find new ideas to express your love every day, if not every moment. Thinking of novel ways of saying 'I love you' is what romantic ideas are all about.

Everyone is not a poet, yet everyone needs to kindle the flame of love lest it fades away. This site on romantic ideas is a treasure house of fresh romantic ideas. The charm of an idea lies in its freshness, and nothing goes stale faster than ideas. So, look for absolutely novel romantic ideas to let the warm Love in!

National Hugging Day ... Reach Out and Touch Someone

As you button up your shirt, you ask, “So, what’s your diagnosis, doc?”

He pauses and then replies, “It appears you’re suffering from touch deprivation.”

Somewhat taken aback, you sputter, “Is there a special treatment for that?”

Smiling, the doctor answers, “Yes … lots and lots of hugs.”

You heard the doctor. It’s time to reach out and touch someone. No excuses now. Today, January 21 is National Hugging Day!

This warm and fuzzy holiday was created twenty years ago by Rev. Kevin Zaborney, of Caro, Michigan. One thing for certain, the man definitely chose the right time of year for this holiday. Who wouldn’t want to cosy up to someone during this cold, blustery month? Now although not officially a “national” holiday, many embrace it all the same … with the other person’s permission of course.

The word “hug” has many definitions and is believed to have originated in Scandinavia, akin to Old Norse “hugga,” meaning to comfort. Other definitions include an affectionate embrace or to clasp or hold closely. Whatever the definition, hugging is a gesture of love, of warmth, of caring … benefiting people both physiologically and psychologically.

Did you know that hugging increases the body’s endorphins (morphine-like substances in our blood and nervous systems), relieving us from pain and creating a mild euphoria? Medical facilities and treatment centres across the globe are realizing its true healing value, and now use hug and touch therapy for the treatment of pain, depression and fear in their patients. One could almost say that hugs are natural painkillers.

Unfortunately, some researchers on the subject of hugging have revealed less favourable findings. For example, some studies show that children deprived of hugs during their infancy risk growing up incapable of loving others, suggesting that a child raised without any hugging can become a psychopath or sociopath.

Virginia Satir (1916-1988), noted psychotherapist and family therapist, offered the best prescription when she advised, “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”

Many of us underestimate the value of hugging—the power of touch. Its effects are immediate, both the hugged and the hugger profit from the experience. And what is especially nice about hugging is that it’s not limited to only the hurting and the lonely … hugging is for everyone!

Top Ten Benefits of Hugging
1. Costs nothing
2. Boosts your immune system
3. Builds self-esteem
4. Fosters self-acceptance
5. Alleviates tension
6. Helps curb appetite
7. Saves heat
8. Is portable
9. Requires no special setting or equipment
10. Feels incredibly good!

Wow, talk about benefits! Who wouldn’t want to celebrate National Hugging Day! Come to think of it, why keep it to one day? Why not make every day a hug somebody day! Reach out and touch someone today … with their permission of course!

Fueling the Fires of Passion

What do you do when your marriage becomes routine? For many of us, the everyday routine of work, childcare, and bill paying extends to our lovemaking with our spouses. But, no matter how long you’ve been married, there are plenty of ways to spice up your love life. Let’s start in the bedroom – the hub of hubba hubba!

Gentlemen, start your engines

• Decorate your bedroom with pictures of yourself and your partner. Choose pictures that bring back happy memories of times you had as a couple. For instance, your wedding, a special date, or a vacation. Avoid hanging pictures of relatives: family pictures belong in the family room. It’s a real turn-off to see your grandparents and in-laws scowling at you while you’re naked and ready for romance.

• Speaking of mood: mood lighting can work wonders for a bland bedroom. Soft lighting helps to warm the atmosphere and it makes people look sexier too. You want to be able to see what you’re doing, without blinding your partner or having to grope around clumsily in the dark. Install a dimmer switch for a bedside lamp. Some people like to buy black lights (UV light bulbs available at Lowe's or Home Depot) because the bulbs create the appearance of a sexy tan on your bodies.

• Roses, orchids and other scented flowers can fill your room with romance. Scented candles-especially lavender and pumpkin-are a type of aromatherapy that many people find arousing.

• Lock you door! If you don’t have a lock, get one. It’s almost impossible to lose yourself in the moment if you’re worried that you will be found out any minute by an intruding child.

Ladies, start his engine

Now that the bedroom is ready for action, it’s time to use it! Ladies, sometimes it’s best to take charge and turn him on for a change. Why should he have to instigate everything? Here are a few tips to get his motor running.

• Make the first move and continue to direct the action. Men get tired of having to call the plays all the time. Having a woman take charge will be something out of a fantasy for him.

• Arrange a night out, but keep your plans a secret. What could make your man feel more special than to have his loved one plan and pay for an intimate evening together?

Another way to show your partner that he is desired is to play up the little things.

• Leave little love notes in his lunch box and on his pillow. His coworkers might give him some grief at first. But, every other man will be wishing his wife left notes for him.

• Demonstrate a bit more affection in public. No need to embarrass him or make him feel uncomfortable. But mini massages, kisses on the cheek and toying with his hair are ways to let him feel that he is desired. Let the world know you’re in love. Let the world - and your man – know that you just can’t keep your hands off him. That’s a real ego boost for a man. He’ll appreciate it and feel flattered.

• Dress up once in a while. Toss off the flannel and turn up the glamour. Strut your stuff and remind him how beautiful you really are. When you were dating, you dressed to impress and to attract. Dress tonight like you dressed when you were dating

Every couple has their own ways of showing affection. Also, every couple needs to be comfortable with new ways of demonstrating romantic gestures. So, try some of these suggestions. See which ones work best for you-and for him. Doing the things you did when you wanted to get married might just be the things that help you stay married. Turn back the romance clock, and turn on the fun.